Bluesin' it at the Bronze
by Alphabet Scribes
Summary: Buffy on depression


Title: Bluesin' at the bronze  
Rating: G  
Pairing: Anya-Xander, Buffy-Spike, Tara-Willow  
Improve: The letter B  
Spoilers: Happens after " Once more, with feeling"  
  
  
The bronze was full. Bodies writhed on the floor in a battle of what one might  
call dominance. Buffy and pals sat at a table staring at their drinks.  
Depressed due to lack of enjoyment. Willow watched the dancers intently, almost  
hypnotically before downing another sip of what the bartender had called a  
"preppy down fall". The sweet purplish liquid, glided over her tongue. Spike  
joined them as willow made a face. Not one for heavy drinking, the events of  
the previous night had driven Willow to a night of alcohol. The drink was her  
first of many. Willow watched Spike sit down beside Buffy and saw the look  
they'd shared before Buffy forced her gaze back to her glass. Had they really  
sang? Willow giggled as she felt the first sign of giddiness. She'd brought her  
friend back from heaven, not a hell dimension. She was responsible Buffy's  
unhappiness. She'd brought her friend to the hell of everyday living. She was  
responsible for Buffy's everyday torment. She took another drink then walked to  
the bar and ordered another one.  
  
Spike grabbed a flask from his pocket, and shoved it into Buffy's eye-line.  
Buffy took it without argument. Had she really kissed Spike? Ever since they  
brought her back form the dead she'd been emotionally dead. Was that what she'd  
secretly wanted? ...To kiss Spike? The Whisky was old and sweet. Buffy wasn't  
planning on getting hammered, just her perception dulled. She'd felt something  
in his kiss, something she'd given up looking for, after Angel left. Angel, and  
Spike both Vampires what was her problem. She's the vampire slayer so why did  
she keep falling for her supposed prey. Had she fallen for Spike? At least  
Angel had a soul. She hated Spike. She hated him for making her feel this way.  
Buffy practically threw the flask at Spike before she dropped to the table.  
  
Spike hadn't been surprised by the fact that Buffy had greedily downed some of  
his alcohol, but when the flask came flying at his head he barely got a grasp  
on it. She'd kissed him, he thought to himself. This wasn't a mind-altering  
spell; like the one the witch had put on them, making them act they were to be  
married. No. This had been a spell to release inner feelings. Buffy had kissed  
him, and not in the cheek way. The kiss had been beyond passionate, if the rest  
of the living hadn't come out and interrupted them it might have gone further  
than even Spike was ready for. He figured out along time ago that he had deep  
feelings for her, but he didn't want to ruin the whole  
Some-day-I'll-get-the-chip-out-of-my-head-and-kill-you relationship by finding  
the ecstasy he tasted in her kiss. Spike didn't think about Dru anymore, only  
thoughts of Buffy danced teasingly threw his head. Thoughts that he thought  
would never come true, but one of them had. What was he going to do now? What  
was she going to do now?  
  
She betrayed me, Tara thought. Ironic how we'd been fighting cause she was  
using too much magic and then she'd turned around and used magic to make me  
forget the fight ever happened. How can you be so mad at someone you love?  
That's right she loved Willow. She'd wait to confront her about knowing what  
she'd done. She'd wait to tell Willow she knew of her betrayal, She loved her  
too much to tell her now.  
  
Betcha he's a Bunny lover, Anya thought as she looked at her fiancé. Betcha the  
first thing he'll do after were married is buy a bunny. My toes are not hairy.  
How could Xander say something like that? She felt Xander's hand on her thigh.  
Her thoughts shifted, I love him. I can't believe were getting married! It's  
ironic that she got tangled with the Scoobies because of Xander back when she  
was a Vengeance demon. Would he hurt her like he did Cordelia? No. She felt a  
smile spread across her face. She's got the money, the apartment and the man.  
She's living up to the human standard, so why is she so scared?  
  
Xander looked down at Anya. Her face pursed in deep thought. He was nervous  
about their impending wedding, and judging from last night so was she. That  
was a little… interesting; He'd been disease-boy, demon-magnet and Dracula's  
slave, now he had dancing queen to add to his list. Why had he summoned the  
demon? This was his entire fault. All his friends were suffering because of  
him. He'd wanted a happy ending for him and Anya; instead they'd sung a little  
ditty about each other's flaws. My eyes are not beady, he thought to himself,  
letting a snort escape his nose. Anya looked up at him confused. Xander just  
smiled and hugged her close hoping that he'd be able to forget the events of  
late.  
  
Spike was about to leave when he felt Buffy's hand slide into his. She still  
had her head on the table but had somehow made a decision. Spike smiled, and  
squeezed her hand lovingly. Maybe everything would work out.  
  
Buffy smiled. Everything was so confused. Her head danced from thought to  
thought. All she could focus on was Spike. Her feelings for him weren't clear  
but she knew he was her future. When he squeezed her hand in return she nearly  
jumped into his arms. Maybe the whole singing extravaganza hadn't turned out  
all that bad. Maybe life would be less muddled. Maybe she'd remember how to  
feel again.  
  
Tomorrow is a new day. Life will go on. Sooner or later the truth comes out.  
How you deal with it is up to you.


End file.
